Ticker Tape I
A starving street urchin.
There was so much screaming, I’ve never heard a man scream so much.
I took this worse than losing Pluto as a planet: planetoid-rage.
Firstly, I appreciate my fans, my wife, and my girlfriend.
He’s an escape artist. Sorta. Maybe it’s all just good time management skills.
Would you get that arm out of your mouth?
It’s a little harder to get human drug testing approved, but electrocuting them is alright; thanks to me, there’s a number of New Yorkers who are deathly afraid of blue squares.
Where would you be without me?
Ticker Tape II
Mistaken for a rabbi.
The Montreal Screwjob.
What is the worst problem about driving a lift? Picking people up.
Forget the Atkins Diet, this is the Clockwork Orange Diet!
Letting the bear lick his toes
and using small green snakes
to clean saliva from wind instruments,
though they are not as absorbent,
they make a great squeegee.
Lying like a rug.
No damage had been done
to the rare manuscripts,
or the medium rare ones.
The python isn’t really massaging anyone —
that’s
just
what
they
do.
So
many
bandages
stitched
together
to make a quilt;
toes in your nose and four to a bed.
Hit yourself until you pass out.
It was a very healthy
second degree burn.
Feminism comes in many forms.
Show me all of them!
Ticker Tape III
Kitten purr-fume?
A mix between a newborn baby and a freshly baked loaf of bread.
Cats smell like pee.
I wonder what it would be like to have my nipples ripped off?
We are going to, in our own way, get very real.
David’s glutes make
me eager to start;
they make my brain
and my abs so sore.
Aren’t you going to ask me why?
Ticker Tape IV
Wrestling is fake, but so are the movies.
Studded tires on bare pavement: the mantra of defeat.
Weaken environmental protection laws.
Sure, you’ve seen Jaws —
there was a lot of blood.
Good GOD — your eye is in the middle of your cheek!
Maybe we shouldn’t have weakened those environmental protection laws.
Mind over
matter, matter over MIND;
croutons and protons —
the name of my unwritten
cookbook.
If you folks work together, I’ll quit right now: three right there and one over here — but everyone knows three can keep a secret,
if
two
are
dead.
Ticker Tape V
Listen to this:
Time passed like a kidney stone.
He spends hours on the phone
c o m p l a i n i n g
about how he has no money.
Were you
trying to
get my attention?
Is that
the ripped
shirt?
From there to New Guinea — consolidations.
You know how I work;
I’m coming for you;
Calm down, there’s no need for that.
You started it, dum-dum.
Look at the epiphany on his face.
Throw him in the water —
make him drown!
It may seem, though,
at times, that he may
come from a place that’s
less than stellar.
Those are pretty broad.
The most dangerous words in politics are
‘I BELIEVE.’
Let me ascertain my blue language.
Boy this is hard work.
Lost in the D.o.C.¹ blackhole, I
want to keep this brief in the
interests of time:
shit fire and save matches.
I see the potential.
Talk to you later.
Ticker Tape VI
Master of Magnetics:
I’d like to do a sci-fi.
Get more people in here,
the Librarian is coming.
You will see your shortcomings and I would hate to see that;
a stigma to overcome;
a rubber-stamped life.
Here’s what I’m hearing:
I’m like clear soda, albeit an ugly bearded siren.
Her favorite drink
was a Molotov
C
o
c
k
tail.
I can be so
destructively
critical.
Ticker Tape VII
I actually do speak English;
Olympicate?
No — that OTHER word.
Ascertanation!
Out here, every line is a male line.
You see what I mean?
The English have everything in common with Americans, except for the language.
It’s been great being here.
Ticker Tape VIII
I’ve forgotten how to speak it.
We used to pass things on through oral tradition,
then we learned how to read and write.
Created what we are.
So make a list of things you can do without,
because the written word will be the destruction of mankind.
I’ve had this conversation before….
Ticker Tape IX
Guys — break’s over.
Break’s over.
Hand
me
that
thing
two
to
three
hundred
times
a
day.
It’s just what you do when you want it.
So I punched my muse and she died;
totally overreacted.
—E-scape goat!—
Ticker Tape X
Good morning, what are you doing?
Be yourselves, I love you like that.
Don’t worry, she gives her readers
permission to feel…better.
Because I don’t want to be
fucking tough as nails!
Can I just hug you?
Baby, always maintain your silhouette.
Well, this is it,
I love ya.
Goodbye.
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